Wednesday night my father’s church holds testimonial meetings. Basically its a gathering where excerpts from the Bible and correlating text from Mary Baker Eddy’s Science And Health, With Key To The Scriptures are read aloud by the church readers, uplifting hymns are sung by the congregation, the Lord’s Prayer is recited, and finally there is a period of sharing, during which any member may stand and address the congregation regarding a personal experience he or she has had and how their faith the precepts of Christian Science have helped them.
I am not a member of the CS Church, but my father is a faithful and long-standing one. Those of you who are regulars at this site have read my previous posts about my father, and thus know the kind of man he is. For those who are new here, let me just say he is a man of singular faith who puts his trust in God above all things. He is 94 years old… he will be 95 in July… and clear of mind, but as you might expect at that advanced age, not as vital or physically robust as he once was. Because I don’t know how long I will have him, I try to cherish every day that I do, and to spend as much time with him as possible. It is for that reason that I frequently accompany him and my sister to the Wednesday night testimonial meetings. I find them a bit less “preachy”. [You may be picking up on the fact that I am not enamored of organized religions or church environments, for the most part, considering the spiritual journey to be a personal one, and you would be correct!] The personal sharing amongst the members at these meetings is genuine and real… sometimes raw… always inspiring!
Because my dad lives with my older sister some twenty minutes north of town, if I intend to go with them I usually call them in advance to ask if they can pick me up en route. This time I knew they would be coming in dad’s little Smart Car and were planning to stop for dinner at a nearby Chinese restaurant first. Since you can’t fit three people in a Smart Car (and since the restaurant was no more than a five minute drive from my house), I arranged to meet them. The plan was for them to leave dad’s locked car in the mall parking lot and for the three of us to head over to the church in my KIA Soul, which we did.
When we pulled up at the church I was relieved to see an empty parking space right in front of the door. Dad can’t walk fast or far, so we use his handicapped plaque and park as close as possible wherever we go somewhere with him. As we were slowly making our way to the front door, I saw a man we know whom I shall call Paul. [That is not his actual name, but though I know he does not have computer access and would not be likely to see this Blog, still I know him to be a very private and dignified man who would not like his business blurted out for strangers to read, so I shall respect and honor his choice by assigning him a fictitious name.]
Before I go any further, allow me to set the stage a bit by telling you something of Paul.
My dad first met him when Paul wandered into the CS Reading Room, which is open to the public for several hours each day. Dad voluntarily mans it for two of the four hours it is open on Tuesdays. On that particular Tuesday, a somewhat bedraggled, disheveled, very slight of stature man (that’s putting it mildly… Paul is no more than 5’1″ and I venture to say weighs well under a hundred pounds!) wandered into the Reading Room. Dad greeted him warmly, as he does all souls who enter there, and they talked for some time. Paul, it turned out, is highly intelligent and has a curious and inquiring mind. Thought he might have sought refuge from the summer heat that day in the cool, air-conditioned sanctity of the Reading Room, what kept him there…and brought him back repeatedly!… were the concepts and thoughts he discussed there with my dad, and the warmth of dad’s metaphoric embrace.
From the start, it was clear that Paul had very little in the way of material things, but though he alluded to not being able to afford this or that, he did not (and has not to this day!) tell his life’s story. He is private and proud, and as I indicated, extremely intelligent… I think the use of the word brilliant would not be an exaggeration here. What little our family DOES know about him we have garnered over the years since that day dad and he first met, after which we sort of became his adopted family, inviting him to join us for holidays and such and giving him rides to and from church gatherings and church itself.
He has an apartment that is within walking distance of the church, IF the weather is conducive and when Paul is feeling well enough to do so. We don’t know how old he is, but he is not young. He was very scruffy when we first met him, and over time he sort of cleaned up his act a bit, but lately he has not been feeling well and has displayed some back-sliding in that regard. I do know that he was not a ne’er do well! He served proudly in the United States Air Force in the rank of Captain, and was honorably discharged. It is possible what income he has today is a military benefit of some kind… no one knows, and Paul’s not offering that information!
As I saw him approaching from about a half a block away, I said in an exasperated voice, “Oh great… am I gonna have to drive Paul home too tonight?” You see he had walked in the cold to the church, as he is wont to do, but frequently either my dad and sister or another church member drove him home afterward. My sister and dad both quickly assured me that someone else would do so, since I already had to take them back to the restaurant … an entirely different direction!… to get their car. The minute my statement was out of my mouth I felt bad. Hot shame rose up within me, and I felt my spirit chastise me. I watched as Paul approached, and, astute observer of the human condition that my 30 plus years working as a spiritual counseling has made me, I could readily see that Paul was un-well.
We all went inside, found our seats, and the meeting began. I sang the hymns with the rest, tried to listen with interest to the readings, and finally we got to what is for me the meat of the matter…. the part where individual members of the congregation share. As luck would have it, the same people who choose to share something each week did so that night as well, some of the sharings more interesting than others, but ALL more real (and thus more interesting to me!) than the formal service!
Towards the end, Paul indicated he had something to share and stood up and spoke briefly. A man of unfailing courtesy, he began by thanking the congregation for their warmth, their kindness and the genuine acceptance and loving hand of friendship they always extend to him. He spoke of how much he appreciated the way he was always made welcome among them. He then referenced not feeling particularly well of late (which came as no surprise to me) and how he knew their belief is that one must place one’s self in God’s hands and expect full healing to come from that source, and he said he respected those precepts. But, he said, he also had to live in this (meaning his) body, and sometimes that was not pleasant or easy. I heard his words, and felt the truth of them. So did the others present.
In that precise moment I felt my heart go out to Paul, as it has often done in the past. I saw him…. truly SAW and felt him!… as a child of God like any other, down on his luck and advanced in age, with his own private demons, including (but not necessarily limited to!) pain in his body and the fact that he hasn’t much in the way of resources to pay for necessities like food, utilities, and transportation, let ALONE comforts!
It occurred to me as my inner eye looked saw deep within him what it might feel like to be him. To not have family, nor a companion… to be totally alone with no one to care for (or about!) him at times when he was clearly ill, and, quite possibly… to die alone. I felt tears spring to my eyes, which I quickly wiped away. In that moment I loved him more than I had ever loved another human being, so great was the compassion stirring from deep within me.
The meeting ended after Paul’s turn to speak, and everyone was gathering coats and purses, mingling a bit, and getting ready to depart. I looked around for Paul and saw him unobtrusively making his way to the door. He happened to glance in my direction just at that moment, and I called his name and motioned with my hand for him to come over to us. I said warmly and cheerfully, ” You’re with us! I’m going to give you a ride home and then drop Annette and dad off at their car.” I saw the immediate look of relief in his eyes. It was cold and dark out, and he doesn’t know the other church members as well as he does us. A proud man, he is not comfortable asking for assistance. He was relieved his dilemma had been solved without the need to squelch his pride.
We all got in the car and I drove him to his apartment. He thanked me, as he always does, and as I watched him walk away from us, pause and turn to look back… wave and smile… I felt my heart swelled with emotion once again. I had never seen a more beautiful human being as he in that moment, disheveled and unkempt as he was, for all I saw was the magnificence of his inner light shining forth…. the truth and power of his valiant spirit, which, like yours, mine and everyone’s springs from the one all-encompassing consciousness in which we all take our beingness… linked and united, individual expressions of Divine Oneness. It’s what I mean when I say we don’t COME from “earth” or any OTHER planetary realm in which the bodies we inhabit may have originated… we COME from the Light filled heart of God!!!!
As I smiled and returned Paul’s wave one last time before leaving, the following words came into my mind and heart:
“Whatsoever you do for the least of my brethren, that you do for me…”
Thank you, Paul, for bringing the truth of that message home to me.
